On Friday, we had a tearful morning, a great day at the Temple of Heaven, and more tears in the evening. I think Phoebe is holding so much inside, it just breaks our hearts. She won't try words in English and she won't speak in Mandarin. When we are out and about, I'm almost certain there are things being said that are not very nice. People in China are not always, ummmm, tactful. They stare, they talk, and it can be very uncomfortable at times. It's awful. Joe stares back at them. This morning (Saturday), Phoebe had more tears. I told her through my translator app to go ahead and talk in Mandarin, to not hold her words in, to try to help us learn more Mandarin, and all the things that I want her to know- we love you, family is forever, family sticks together, family tries, you must try, you are special, you are loved, you are smart, you are beautiful. When I would say something in Mandarin, she would nod her head. She still won't let me do her hair or put lotion on her dry skin spots. She did grab my hand once yesterday. She let me hug her and kiss her and hold her, but I don't know which way is up most of the time. Are we making progress? Does she like us at all? Is she scared to say something wrong? Is she scared of us? Is she happy? I don't know if I want to know all the answers to my questions. Sometimes, I feel like we've kidnapped this poor girl-taking her away from everything she knows. If one more shop keeper tells me she's lucky, I'll probably start screaming! I don't think she feels very lucky. Today, we went out of our way to find a park-shockingly, we had to pay about $1/per person to enter a public park! Because of the labor day holiday, lots of people were picnicking, riding scooters and bikes, flying kites, and fishing, We've been riding the subway all over and the girls are quite the experts on entering and exiting the crowded trains. Tomorrow, we leave for Guangzhou, and I'm so relieved. We will be in walking distance to Shamian Island and some quiet. We also plan to take the girls to the zoo there-pandas and koalas are in our future!!
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| Phoebe's favorite color is pink |
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| Big sister is SO full of it! |
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| Big smiles! |
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| Baba and his girls |
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| Just the girls |
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| Silly sisters |
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| Our beauties |
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ReplyDeleteI cannot even imagine how difficult this has been for you guys. But as encouragement starting on Thursday in the pictures I see in Phoebe's body language and face happiness, comfort and belonging. You are making a ton of progress even if she's not letting you know it. My heart would burst if someone traveled halfway around the world for me. Love you.
ReplyDeleteHang in there. Wouldn't it be un-natural if she didn't have those kinds of feelings? It takes processing and even the good things you are doing can be viewed as a stress, but she is coming around. You can tell a lot about her body language as lauri mentioned above. On my first day of my job down here about 9pm feeling rather overwhelmed, I had a meltdown. So for a little one, it has to be difficult for them to process all of the good things happening. Getting out of Beijing might be the ticket and some down time. I know these children have been sheltered, so little by little it will improve. She could even feel a little guilty about leaving her China family. It will get better, I know it in my heart. I enjoy so much seeing the pictures and the stories. Another little tidbit, if you remember when you got married, you had previously been a daughter, possibly a sister, a grandchild, a student, a best friend, but on the day you became a wife--even with the best supporting husband, it was a transition. Yes, it was something you dreamed about happening but it is common to have the blues. But you pressed on and see how well things turned out. Remember too, if it was easy, then ANYONE would do it!! Hugs to all of you!!
ReplyDeleteDidn't mean for this to sound like a lecture, just a little support with a few hugs thrown in. Remember, we are exactly 2 weeks behind you!!
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