My dear, tender-hearted, Nolan. He's been so excited all along, to have a little sister. Being 10, he seemed to understand everything that was happening. Maybe that's the problem. He understands how long 2 weeks is and that it can feel like an eternity when you're missing someone. Tucking both the boys in tonight was very difficult. I kept it together. Dad, not so much. Nolan was sobbing. It broke my heart. Blaise did really well. I told him we would see him very soon, on Skype, and he seemed ok with that. As I sit here, I'm surprised that Nolan hasn't ventured downstairs. Maybe they are really asleep. I'll sneak up in the morning and give them one last hug and kiss. We've never left the boys for more than a few days.
On the up side. WE ARE LEAVING TOMORROW FOR CHINA!!! WE WILL MEET OUR GIRL ON MONDAY MORNING!!! To say I'm an emotional disaster would be an understatement. I cried when I left work yesterday, I cried just driving down the road today.
Please continue to pray for us. Pray for safe travels, but most of all for our dear, Malia. She is being torn away from everything that is familiar to her. 5 years old is too young to understand the full scope of what is truly happening. We are preparing for the worst case scenario-a full rejection of us, but are praying for the very best. We know that it will take time to get to know one another and we are ok with that. I've read several books on adoption and bonding, so I think I'm prepared as I can be, but I know the reality could be very different. I have already come to love Malia, just as I loved the boys long before they were born. She may not be ready for affection and we will just have to move at her pace.
Well, off to bed I go! I'm hoping to get a few hours of sleep before we head to the airport at 4am. Thanks again for the love, support and prayers. We have been incredibly blessed by the support we have received-sometimes very unexpected.
Love and hugs,
Lindsey
Praying for your family, Lindsey, including your boys waiting at home and your sweet Malia as her world changes. (In a wonderful way, but she may not know that immediately, right?)
ReplyDeleteHope you get a little rest tonight.
Praying for you guys!!! I am so excited for you. I cannot wait.
ReplyDeleteOh I understand how you feel saying goodbye to your boys. I will feel the same next week when we say goodbye to our two. I will be praying for all of you and hope to meet up with you when you are in Guangzhou! We are staying in the same hotel and will be there 5/29. Send me a message through RQ if you want to try and get together. Safe travels! See you soon! Charissa/LynnC
ReplyDeleteI'm praying for you and your boys and, of course, your precious daughter. I didn't realize you were traveling yet (we've been home 3 days, and I've not been keeping up with my fellow bloggers). Just wanted you to know that I know what you're feeling (it's all too fresh for me), and your boys will be just fine and so will your girl. Take care of yourselves.
ReplyDelete